Dating and Meeting After Forty

Sybil T. Mann

Dating in your forties is a different ball game compared to dating when you are younger. At this stage, you find that you are driven by different things, have a more mature set of values, and are not only after your physical appearance, though you may want your partner to be physically attractive. Here are things you need to know about dating in your forties:

You value the opinions of friends and family more
Young people have a penchant for following their desires, even at the detriment of relationships with friends and family. That is why a young couple can elope if their family and friends are against their relationships. However, this is not the same for people in their forties. You have invested time and resources into building the relationships you currently have, and you would not want someone to walk into your life and ruin it. You are likely to cancel a date with someone you like because your children are not comfortable with it, or your friends say they are not the one for you. It takes some guys to do what you want and damn the consequences, even at the risk of losing the relationships you have spent your lifetime grooming.

You feel old even though you are not
Most people in their forties think they cannot compete with the younger ones when it comes to dating. They feel they are too old to be so romantic as they were in their twenties or younger. This may be a huge hindrance to dating, as you may eventually give up on dating altogether. Being in your forties does not mean you are too old to enjoy romance in its fullest form. Besides, you can still learn. There are lots of romantic ideas available online for you to make use of. If you have children who have started dating, you can tell them to teach you about modern-day dating. You are not too old to learn how to spice up your relationships. Stay healthy, keep a clear mind, and have the best time of your life together with your partner.

You may find that potential partners are scarce
Most times, it is easy for younger people to get partners as soon as they can. If they walk out of a relationship today, they are back in another one before the end of the month. But for most people in their forties, this may not be the case. Most people around you are either settled down with their partners or are younger than you. Except you want to date a younger person, it can be difficult to get someone of your age available for a relationship. However, this difficulty can be fixed. If you want to get a partner as soon as possible, work on increasing your network. Join social clubs, move to a new neighborhood or country, volunteer in your community, attend workshops and seminars, go on vacations, etc. This way, you are increasing your chances of meeting with potential partners before you choose the one to settle down with. You can also explore online options by looking for websites where you can meet people that are interested in older partners. Some of the websites you might want to explore include Swingular and SeniorMatch. In most cases, you would find males in their forties or a bit older who are looking for women in their forties to settle down with. They might also be able to find a few younger males who want a relationship with ladies in their forties. Males would also be able to find ladies in their forties or much younger that are interested in a relationship with males in their forties. This is considering that generally, males mostly prefer to hang out with younger females and females mostly prefer to hang out with older males for various reasons.

It is okay not to want marriage
Marriage may not be your goal for meeting and dating a new person, and that is fine. You should not allow anyone to browbeat you into getting married. If you do not want to get married, let your partner know your stance. If it is okay with them, they will stay. If it is not, they will leave. What is most important is that you look out for your joy and satisfaction in any decision you take. Either alone or with a partner, you deserve to live your best life every time.

Your priorities and expectations have changed
Younger couples in their teens and twenties are likely to have some flimsy expectations and priorities. For instance, some are after physical attraction; the ladies want a man that other ladies would be dying to have and the men want a lady with the perfect shape and color. Even though there is no perfect shape and color, each person has an idea of what is perfect for them. Some younger couples also use sex to judge the compatibility of their partners; as long as their partner is good in bed, they are good to go. But as you grow up, you find that such priorities are mostly misleading. You begin to consider other weightier virtues like a sense of responsibility, ability to compromise, love for family and friends, financial habits, social etiquettes, spiritual values, emotional intelligence, views about children, career compatibility, etc. In your forties, you would be looking more for a partner who can comport themselves and act reasonably than someone with great physical features. Virtues, rather than physicalities, appeal to you.

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